Monthly Archives: May 2010

I’m usually not a fan of domesticating what would otherwise grow up to be a wild animal. That being said, my girl Kristin (whom, ironically enough, actually looks like a chipmunk today) linked me to this blog post where a hiker stumbled upon a newborn chipmunk. The hiker nursed the baby chipmunk back to health and has since built a 3-story cage for the animal to live in. The chipmunk is completely hand-tamed and, of course, as cute as a button.

You can read the amazing story here, complete with tons of pictures of the little guy (or is it a girl? I can’t tell). I’m unclear if the writer of the story is the owner of the blog, but I felt compelled to share such an adorable story with all of you. I bet you’ll find it as freakin’ adorable as I do!

[Picture borrowed from the original post on WebOfEntertainment.com]

Five years ago today, Sam took me on our first date. He picked me up from my Mom’s apartment and took me to Starbucks. I paid for our coffee because he was completely broke. The next morning when he dropped me back off at Mom’s before he went to work, I ran inside, threw up, and then announced that I would be a complete IDIOT if I didn’t see him again. I moved in with him shortly thereafter and we’ve been pretty much inseperable ever since.

I couldn’t have found a better person to have shared the past one fifth of my life. Next month I turn 25 years old, and I’m truly excited to see where the next 5 years takes us. 

I love you, Sam. Thank you for being you.

[Our first picture ever taken - July 2005]

I’m crossing off another of my 101 Things To Do In 1001 Days list by listing 100 things that make me happy:

1. The scent of rain.
2. The scent of Sam’s t-shirt when he holds me close.
3. My kitties.
4. Knitting and Ravelry.com
5. Cashmere, silk, and merino wool yarn.
6. French manicures.
7. Warm sunshine on my skin.
8. Ridiculously huge movie star sunglasses.
9. All of my tattoos.
10. Tank tops and flip flops in the summer.
11. My besties; you know who you are.
12. Skype dates with my sister.
13. Road trips with Sam.
14. Sleeping in for as long as my body wants to.
15. Watching Gir wait until I’m fully dried off after a shower to give me kitty hugs. (He sits on the bathroom counter every time I shower, and as soon as I’m dried off he throws his little kitty arms around my neck and snuggles me for at least 3 minutes before he lets me go. It’s one of my favorite things on the planet.)
16. Getting home after a long day of work.
17. Laying in the sun on the beach.
18. Soaking in the hot tub after a hard workout at the gym.
19. Getting lost in a really good book.
20. Driving around in my hot little head-turner.
21. MAC makeup.
22. Smoke breaks.
23. Summertime adventures.
24. Driving with the windows down in 80 degree heat.
25. Cuddling with Sam.
26. CG kids movies like Wall-E, Finding Nemo, and Up.
27. Crawling into bed with fresh sheets and blankets.
28. Netflix delivering movies to my door.
29. Happy hour sushi.
30. YoCream.
31. Walking barefoot in the sand.
32. Jumping in the water on a super hot day.
33. Random “fan mail” from my blog readers.
34. Knitting breaks with Kristin at work.
35. Texting and IM’ing with my friends still living in Alaska.
36. Getting random “I love you” emails from Sam while we’re both at work.
37. Saying the exact same thing at the same time as someone else in a funny conversation.
38. Creating lists, like the one I’m making right now.
39. Seeing movies in the cheap theaters.
40. Watching other people play, pet, and interact with my cats. (Sounds weird, but they are literally my children.)
41. Those Mr. Sketch markers that smell delicious.
42. Thai iced tea with boba.
43. Taking off my socks and shoes after a long day.
44. Listening to my favorite songs on my mp3 player while I’m at the gym.
45. Laying on my tummy.
46. Snuggling up in a bunch of blankets and pillows on the couch.
47. Sitting around a campfire after dark.
48. S’mores.
49. Laying on those blow-up floating lounge chairs in the water.
50. Mike’s hard cranberry and Smirnoff Pomegranate 6-packs.
51. Oregon Lottery crossword scratch-its.
52. Yummy perfume and body sprays.
53. Tanning.
54. Wearing and showing off the things I’ve knit.
55. Shopping.
56. Blogging.
57. Taking pictures, editing them, and sharing them with others.
58. The fact that I’ve now successfully waxed my own eyebrows for nearly a year. And I’m actually quite good at it.
59. Mother-Daughter dates.
60. Phone calls home to my parents, grandparents, and siblings.
61. Girl time.
62. Alone time.
63. Treating someone else to lunch/dinner/coffee, etc.
64. Successfully making an edible dinner.
65. Heart to heart talks.
66. Mind numbingly amazing sex.
67. Bold, chunky jewelry.
68. When Sam kisses my forehead.
69. Changing my hair color and/or style on a whim.
70. Scratching Sam’s back right after I get my nails done.
71. Feeling loved every single day of my life.
72. Waking up to my favorite person on the planet almost every single day.
73. TacoBell chicken burritos.
74. Platform sandals.
75. Nail polish.
76. Coffee.
77. Bagels without holes.
78. Keeping up on the blogs I like to read.
79. Hot showers when I’m cold and cold showers when I’m hot.
80. Singing along to songs I love.
81. When Sam tells me he loves me.
82. Friday afternoons.
83. When Sam sings love songs to me.
84. Stategically weaving through lanes to pass a million cars in rush hour traffic.
85. Dressing up for a date night.
86. Netflix Instant Play.
87. Hilarious puns.
88. Making dinner with friends.
89. Coffee shops.
90. When Sam introduces me as his girlfriend; it still makes me feel special.
91. Perusing prospective knitting patterns and photos of other knitter’s projects.
92. Getting email from friends I’ve lost touch with.
93. Giving and receiving gifts.
94. Making something for someone else to enjoy.
95. Mean Girls and Office Space.
96. Relaxing.
97. Hot tea on a cold, rainy day.
98. Malabrigo yarn.
99. Twisted, my favorite local yarn shop.
100. Ice cold apple juice.

So, what makes YOU happy?

Today is May 25th. In many other climates, the end of May signifies the true start of summer - complete with sunshine and heat. But not here. Predictibly bipolar Portland seems to have other ideas of which kinds of weather are appropriate for the beginning weeks of summer. Weather that includes thunderstorms in the middle of the day. Just 3 hours after a glorious patch of beautiful, warm sunshine.

Oh, Portland, how you tease us so. Can’t we please phase into summer already?! I assure you that we’re SICK of all this freakin’ rain!

Dear Heather,

It’s been a long while since the last time I wrote to you. I’m not sure if that’s a good or a bad thing. I suppose it could be neither. I’ve thought about you so many times over the past few weeks that I’ve now repeatedly burst into tears while:

• driving
• grocery shopping
• and listening to “Ohio is for Lovers” by Hawthorne Heights

I used to think there was a good chance that you were still “with us”, for lack of a better term. So much so that my last letter asked you to leave. I mean, I obviously know you aren’t HERE, as in living and breathing on the same planet that I am, but a huge part of me very seriously considered the possibility that you might be able to hear me when I talk to you. Or read what I’ve written to you as I type it.

But now, I’m just not so sure.

It’s not like any one thing happened to make me stop thinking that you are watching, listening, seeing. It’s just that the “feeling” I had before? I don’t have it now. I don’t FEEL like you are with me, or that you can hear me when I talk to you. I don’t feel like you are watching or that you have read all the letters I’ve written to you, sobbing as my fingers pitter-patter over my laptop keys.  

Maybe what I’m asking for is a sign - something to prove to me that you are still here. But deep down, I don’t believe that’s likely. My science-driven brain just can’t make sense of it. It isn’t very logical. But on the same token, the flipside argument is that no one really knows. Not a single scientist can say without a shadow of a doubt that humans DO or DO NOT live on (in some way) after death. And because we cannot possibly know one way or the other, I will keep my hopes up. I will continue to look for you, to listen for you, and to be aware of myself and my surroundings, so that I don’t close the door of opportunity forever.

I still love you, Heather. And I still expect you to text me back and log on to Skype, nearly a year after your sudden death. I know those things won’t happen, but I still find myself expecting them. It has gotten easier as the months pass, but it’s still completely unbelievable when I really let myself think about it. Instead, I try not to.

Summer is coming, and that means the 1 year anniversary of your death is just 3 months away. I can’t believe it’s been so long. I can’t believe I’ve lived this long without you.

I still can’t believe you’re gone.

Last week I introduced my Day Zero list; a detailed list of 101 things I want to do over the next 1001 days. Sam has assured me that I don’t need to do something on the list EVERY single day, but so far I’ve knocked out 5 things over the past 5 days with another 5 tasks in progress.

Things I’ve completed:

• Go on a road trip - Centralia, Washington
• Purposely leave my phone turned off for 24 hours
• Answer all “50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind” - View my answeres here
• Inspire someone to make a Day Zero list - So far I’ve inspied 5 friends to create their own lists
• Bake cupcakes for no reason - Sam and I baked confetti cupcakes last night

Things I’ve started, but aren’t yet finished:

• Knit a pair of socks for a loved one - Sock 1 is nearly finished
• Go 365 days without taking daily medication - Started count at 1st day of list, May 19, 2010 - will (hopefully) end May 19, 2011
• Go 90 days without having a panic attack - Started count at 1st day of list, May 19, 2010 - will (hopefully) end August 17, 2010
• Print out my Day Zero list and hang it in my living room for inspiration - I’ve printed it out, but it’s not yet hanging on the wall
• Plan a date night and then fully enjoy it - Currently planning our 5 year date-iversary this Thursday

I’m hoping to knock out a couple more things from the list today. I’m thinking a cartwheel through the office sounds like fun!

I’ve recently built my Day Zero Project list of 101 things I want to do over the next 1001 days. Over the next 2.75 years, I’ll hopefully accomplish most of the things on the list, and for every item I don’t complete in time, I plan to donate $5 to charity. For every item I do complete, I’ll try to put $10 in my savings account. (So far, I’ll need to save $30)

One of the things on my list is to fill out the “50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind” survey. My answers are in red.

These questions have no right or wrong answers.
Because sometimes asking the right questions is the answer.

1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? 27.
2. Which is worse, failing or never trying? Failing; the effort spent while trying was all for nill.
3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do? Because we have to in order to survive (ex: work).
4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done? Most likely. And I’m okay with that.
5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world? Poverty.
6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich? Knitting, taking pictures, and blogging.
7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing? In what context? I would say I’m doing a mixture of both.
8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently? I would do more of the things I want to do “someday”; turning the “someday” into today or tomorrow.
9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken? Pretty significantly, especially over the past 5 years.
10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things? Doing things right.
11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire.  They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend.  The criticism is distasteful and unjustified.  What do you do? I would explain my perspective.  I would absolutely defend my friend, but with a civil, mature conversation. I would also ask why they feel that way, and really listen to what they have to say. (That doesn’t mean I have to agree with it.)
12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be? Surround yourself with people you truly enjoy. Don’t waste you time with people who don’t treat you the way you want to be treated, no matter who they are.
13. Would you break the law to save a loved one? It would obviously depend on the situation, but I might.
14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity? Not in antoher person, but I’ve seen it in myself.
15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people? I crunch my graham crackers up in a tall glass and pour milk over it. Then I eat the mushy mixture with a spoon.
16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy? Because everyone’s likes and dislikes are different. That’s the beauty of life.
17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do?  What’s holding you back? Go on a week-long real vacation. Somewhere tropical. Money is holding me back.
18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of? My wedding rings from my teenage marriage (that didn’t last much longer than a year). I want to sell or even donate them, but Sam talks me out of it every time. He thinks I’ll want to look at them someday when I’m old and telling my grandkids my life story.
19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why? London. I’ve always wanted to live there. I think I’d love love love it.
20. Do you push the elevator button more than once?  Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster? I only push the elevator button once, but I do push the walk sign button at crosswalks a bunch of times. I can’t tell with those because it doesn’t light up when you push it!
21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton? Joyful simpleton, definitely.
22. Why are you, you? I just am. I was born this way.
23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend? Absolutely.
24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you? When a good friend moves away.
25. What are you most grateful for? Love.
26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones? Wow, that’s a tough one. I think I’d choose losing the old ones in exchange for making new ones. But then I’d forget who I am. Hmmm, both of those options are terrible.
27. Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first? Sometimes the truth is obvious without question.
28. Has your greatest fear ever come true? Yes and no. I have more than one greatest fear.
29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset?  Does it really matter now? That’s funny, because exactly 5 years ago I moved here to Oregon from Alaska where I’d spent most of my life thus far. And I was extreemly upset at that point in my life. Looking back now, I realize it wasn’t for nothing, but it doesn’t affect me anymore.
30. What is your happiest childhood memory?  What makes it so special? I have so many, I could never choose just one. My happiest involve my whole family - my parents, siblings, and grandparents.
31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive? The weekend Sam and I spent in Seattle with Sandi and her hubby. That was such an amazing weekend.
32. If not now, then when? I just need 5 more minutes.
33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose? Everything and nothing. It depends on how you look at it.
34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever? No, I don’t think I have. That sounds amazing, though.
35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars? Conflict of interest.
36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil? Sometimes.
37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job? Not right away, but I would. I would then take my money, buy a modest house and car, and go directly to school for something I’m passionate about. Then I would start my own business.
38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing? More work that I truly enjoy doing. Without question.
39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before? In some ways, yes. But that’s not always a bad thing.
40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in? May 15, 2005. The day I moved from a tiny town in Alaska to Portland, Oregon. I never looked back.
41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today? As many people as I possibly could. Wow, that thought is absolutely devastating.
42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous? That’s a tough question. My immediate answer is “yes”, but what if my life ends sooner than old age? Then I’ll die 10 years even SOONER, and that’s a terrifying thought. So no, I probably would not.
43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living? Happiness. Adventure. Fun. Love. The list goes on.
44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right? When it feels right.
45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake? Because failure is often painful.
46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you? I wouldn’t.
47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing? Possibly never. But I did rest my head on Sam’s chest last night and really, truly embraced the sound of his beating heart for a few minutes. It was an extremely moving experience.
48. What do you love?  Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love? I love so many people and things, and I don’t hide it in any way. I’m an extremely open person, and I openly love without reservation.
49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday?  What about the day before that?  Or the day before that? No, but that’s because nothing super eventful or life changing has happened over the last 3 days.
50. Decisions are being made right now.  The question is:  Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you? I absolutely make them for myself.

My no front plate fix-it ticket was dismissed this morning. Sam, being familiar with the traffic court system, went with me to the court house a full hour before it was necessary. Because of our early-bird arrival, I was:

• the very first person in line to check-in
• the very first person to be called to stand before the judge
• and the very first person to leave

All in all, the whole ordeal was pretty simple and painless. The judge was kind and even made me laugh a few times. I’m just glad it’s over and done with!

Lindsay Lohan and I finally have something in common — a court date tomorrow morning. Thankfully, I’ll be headed to traffic court while she’s in quite a bit more trouble. But that’s her problem, not mine.

Tomorrow morning, I’ll be standing in front of a judge, rocking neon flaming orange hair, to prove that I have in fact put a front license plate on my car. This should be interesting.

After nearly 2 weeks of sporting bright blonde locks, I’ve gone flaming orange. Sam says I look like a traffic cone. Or an anime character. Or Lilu from ‘The Fifth Element’. Either way, I’m really loving the drastic change, and he’s made it very clear that he finds it really effing hot.

I cut my bangs a bit shorter than I meant to, and the third bleaching before adding the color has pretty much killed the glossy health of what little hair I do have, but I’m extremely pleased with the vibrant color.

It’s like MOTHERFUCKING POW! and I really, truly love it.

Hair Color Brand: RAW
Color: Blood Orange

Product Notes: Only available at Hot Topic, this all natural vegan hair stain is demi-permanent. Pre-color bleaching is recommended for optimal longevity; expected to last anywhere from 3-6 weeks.

Pros: Vibrant color. (And by “vibrant”, I mean insane and absolutely effing INCREDIBLE.)

Cons: The scent; it smells of burnt plastic. (For the record, Sam says it doesn’t stink. I disagree.)

When I had finally decided I was going orange, I shot a text to my fellow crazy-hair-color loving friend Kristy for advice. Where is a girl to find flaming orange hair dye in Portland, Oregon? Her answer was Hot Topic and after calling all 4 locations within driving distance I was unable to find orange, regardless of brand name.

A quick Google search proved that Hot Topic, Sally Beauty Supply, and WoodPro Beauty Center all carry unconventional hair colors, but after making a few more calls, not a single store stocks any shade of orange on their shelves.

To my dismay, my impulsive need to dye my hair orange wasn’t looking very likely at that point. That’s when Kristy came to the rescue. She had about 1/3 of a bottle of RAW hair stain in — yep, you guessed it — orange! Many, many thanks to her kind generosity, as she is well aware of just how difficult it is to acquire another bottle of the ever-elusive color. I owe her for this one.

In a few weeks time, I’ll need to re-dye if I want to keep up the IN YOUR FACE vibrancy of this color. As I have been unable to track down a single supplier of orange RAW, I plan to order a tub of Manic Panic in Electric Lava (only available online).

So, do YOU color your hair “crazy” colors?
What brand(s) of hair dye do you use and love?