Monthly Archives: December 2009

Everyone keeps asking me what I’m doing to celebrate New Years tonight. I keep shrugging it off like I could care less about the new year, but really, deep down inside, it’s because 6.25 hours is all that stands between me and the year 2010.

Just 6.25 hours is all that I have left of a year that I walked this Earth with Heather.

Just 6.25 more hours until I will be living in a year without her.

I’m not ready for this. I’m not ready for this at all.

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One of my holiday gifts this year was was hidden in the most amazing reusable shopping bag I’ve ever seen.

If you know me at all, you know how strongly I feel about the First Amendment of the United States; particularly the part that prohibits the United States government from regulating both the practice and the absence of religion. The First Amendment protects my right to be Atheist.

The First Amendment is also what gives me the right to have this website where I can safely write anything I feel like writing — so long as it isn’t slander or infringement upon another person’s rights — without fear of prosecution.

That being said, the awesome shopping bag printed with the First Amendment was just the beginning of an extremely thoughtful, heartfelt gift. The reusable cloth bag was stuffed full of books from Powell’s. Most of the books are classics I’ve always wanted to read but haven’t yet found the opportunity to do so. Of all 15 or so books in the bag, I’ve only read one, The Great Gatsby, and I look forward to reading it a second time.

Last night, I decided to start reading my new stack of books. I chose the 3 thinnest of the bunch (I recently finished the Twilight saga and could use a change of pace) and inspected the backs of each book. After realizing each of them sounded as tempting as the last, I closed my eyes and chose one of the 3 books randomly.

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I spent nearly an hour on the couch reading the first third of Written On The Body by Jeanette Winterson, and so far I’m smitten.

First published in 1994, it is written in a style unlike anything I’ve read before, with the narrator having neither a name nor a definite gender.

The narration takes on lengthy stoner-like rants with minimal punctuation that tends to go on for pages, but instead of boring me I’ve found the rambling monologues to be extremely deep, thoughtful, and absolutely captivating.

With a total of just 190 pages, I expect to finish this book over the next couple days, if not by the end of this evening. I probably wouldn’t have picked this up in a bookstore, and I’m so thankful for the chance to enjoy such a unique and intriguing writing style.

Words cannot express how happy exhilarated I am to report that Gir hasn’t pooped on the floor a single time since the introduction of The Biggest Litter Box Of All Time.

Okay, so it might take up half of our small front bathroom, and it might make using the toilet in that bathroom a tad less comfortable, but NOT scrubbing cat poop off the floor numerous times a week is entirely worth the sacrifice.

By far the best $29.99 I’ve ever spent at PetCo:

Heather was in my dreams again last night. This time it scared me. The dream itself was disturbing, and then I awoke to what sounded and felt like a low, rumbly growl directly into my right ear. It startled me so much that my heart felt like it was going to leap out of my chest and I pulled the covers over my head out of sheer terror. I was overwhelmed with the feeling that Heather was trying to contact me and it terrified me. I laid there in bed at 3:30 in the morning facing Sam for what felt like an hour before I must have fallen back asleep.

That certainly didn’t make for a great Monday morning after a long holiday. Maybe I’ve been watching too much Ghost Adventures.

Heelys are skate shoes with wheels. They’ve been around for years and I’ve always wanted a pair. Their website boasts, “Heelys aren’t just shoes. They’re not just skates. They’re a movement.” and I assure you they aren’t exaggerating. They really mean it.

Last Thursday I found a pair of Heelys in my size for $15 at a discount store. I bought them without even trying them on. That night, Sam helped me install the wheels and I clunked my way to the kitchen to try them out. After 20 minutes of frustration, I realized I may never be able to heel. Maybe I simply wasn’t capable of that kind of balance.

Not yet ready to give up, Sam and I spent the next 20 minutes on Youtube watching funny videos of people using Heelys for the first time. And then I came across this video:

I am not ashamed to admit that a 9 year old girl taught me to heel. Props to you, Random Awesome Girl - I can’t thank you enough for your simple instruction and crazy cool sunglasses.

Once I figured out how to heel for more than a foot or two at a time, I forced Sam to tape my first couple  tries. Despite his initial protest of, “Why does EVERYONE videotape their first time on Heelys?!” (which I had to admit was ironically true), he happily complied:

I’ll go ahead and admit that I haven’t worn regular shoes since Thursday and I’m now heeling all over the place. Sam and I went to lots of stores and a couple malls over the weekend and I heeled my way across each of them, happy as a clam.

Things I’ve learned during my first week on Heelys:

• learning to kick off is harder than it looks, but well worth the effort once you figure it out
• the smoother the surface, the easier it is to heel
• the smoother the surface, the longer you can heel without stopping
• grocery stores and malls were made for heeling
• asphalt and cracked sidewalks were not made for heeling

I fell once on Day 2 in the parking lot of Fred Meyers right in front of someone who didn’t find it funny. At least Sam and I thought it was hilarious and it didn’t hurt anything but my dignity.

The moral of the story is this:

If you ever come across an opportunity to buy a pair of Heelys in your size for super cheap, DO IT! They are honestly the most fun I’ve ever had on wheels. I can’t wait to go grocery shopping!

I’m feeling like quite the spoiled brat right now.

Christmas was awesome this year, I had such a great vacation. Among other things, my Christmas Atheistmas booty includes an electronic piano and a set of furry pink and white Skullcandy headphones. (I spent a good portion of the weekend learning the melody of Bella’s Lullaby and the intro of Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata.) I also got a few gift cards, a bag of classic books I’ve always wanted to read, lots of makeup, 14 pairs of what I’ve dubbed The Most Amazing And Comfortable Panties On The Planet (find them here at Gap Body), and a shiny new cover for my phone.

In other news, I bought a pack of cigarettes last night. Sam was really disappointed. It’s my first pack purchase in at least 6 months. I feel guilty because I can’t justify my need for them so suddenly.

Dear Heather,

A picture of you hangs above our mantle;
a silent tribute to your smiling face.
A shot glass sits below your photo;
a birthday drink you’ll never taste.

Today marks your 22nd birthday,
but you aren’t here for me to call.
All I have is this hole in my heart,
and your pretty picture on my wall.

Your death has changed everything,
not just at first, but also later.
My outlook on life turned on it’s heels
when you left us to meet your maker.

No longer do I live oblivious,
skipping merrily along.
One step forward, two steps back,
that’s how it’s been since you’ve been gone.

Oh how badly I’d like to hear
from you beyond the grave.
It’s a lonely world without you,
but for you I will be brave.

Happy birthday, Heather,
if only you were here.
December will never be the same;
this year Christmas comes with tears.

Love,
Ester

On August 10, 2009, I wrote an open letter to my cat. If you haven’t met him, his name is Gir and he’s huge. 16pounds of pure kitteh lovins, that’s what Gir is. With his jet black long, silky fur and his sea foam green saucer eyes, he can make you go from yelling,

“IF YOU TOUCH THAT ONE MORE TIME I’M GOING TO KILL YOU, GIR. I mean it - just ONE MORE TIME!!”

from one side of the house to the other, before turning around and getting down on all fours to kiss his forehead and apologize to HIM for yelling. (And then you’ll spend the next 2 hours of your life snuggling up with him while you try to watch TV. Seriously, I have no idea how he does this. I’d like to have his unparalleled power.)

But I digress; back to the topic at hand: Gir can’t seem to poop INSIDE the litter box. I cannot for the life of me understand why he chooses to stand sideways to poop, forcing his butt completely out of the litter box, but it has gotten to the point where I’m picking poop off the bathroom floor multiple times a week.

When this first happened a few months ago, I went out and bought the biggest litter box I could find. A huge deep dish box to make Gir Royal Highness more comfortable. That litter box now takes up a third of our tiny front bathroom, and it clearly isn’t making a lick of difference.

Fast forward to today: Sam and I are standing in front of the litter box aisle at PetCo. I’ll just go ahead and admit that he talked me into buying The Biggest Litter Box Of All Time. Seriously, this thing could be used as a child’s sandbox. It dwarfs Gir in comparison, as shown below:

I’m still working on accepting the fact that I’m going to lose even MORE of our tiny, tiny front bathroom. If this bohemouth of a  box doesn’t work, I see no other option but to fill the entire bathroom with an inch or two of litter. And that just wouldn’t be comfortable to stand on while I use the mirror.

So Merry Christmas, Gir. I hope you enjoy your new 20″ wide by 35″ long by 10″ deep litter box. Let’s see if you can keep it inside the box from now on, mkay?

Side note  about photo: Last year was our first year with the kitties and I started the tradition of getting them each a new collar for Christmas. This year, we chose a reflective collar for Gir so we can find him when he runs out the front door. :(

• No, we will NOT go down into the ground.
• I watched the steam rising from the hot cup of coffee and thought, “It is definitely going to be a GOOD day today.”
• Everything’s going to be okay.
• I’ll take a Kahlua and cream, please.
• Things aren’t usually what they seem from the outside; at least from my point of view.
• And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to relaxing, tomorrow my plans include creating more monsters of course and Sunday, I want to relax and enjoy my day!

Exciting things have been happening over the past few days! One of my equally crafty BFFs and I have been incubating an incredible idea. Together, we have created the Monster Squad.

Monster Squad is the artistic collaboration of me, Ester Parra of AntiSocialButterfly, and one of my best friends who also happens to be my day job coworker, Kristin Leamy of MeanBean.

This new shop will now be home to all of my monsters, as well as other various monsters of all shapes and sizes. Kristin and I are in the process of splitting up monsters into categories:

• I am continuing to create unique monster messenger bags and  monster pillows, and have a few other monsters brewing in the depths of my crazy brain
• Kristin is currently designing a  line of monster sleeping masks, and has a few other Super Awesome monsters still in the design phase

Keep checking in for shop updates, as new monsters will be appearing several times a week!

Now, to introduce the two newest members of our Monster Squad army:

Meet Zia! She is an adorable, friendly blue and white Monster pillow. Her front side is super soft and cuddly, and her tough white denim backside gives her quite the stylish rear! Zia is ready to be released into the wild - adopt her today! *UPDATE: Zia was adopted December 18, 2009!

Meet Stella! She is a stylish, adorable pink and black Monster pillow. Her front side is super soft and cuddly, and her tough black faux leather backside gives her quite the edge! Stella is ready to be released into the wild - adopt her today!