Monthly Archives: December 2007

wtf is the big deal about new years? who REALLY gives a shit - and if you do, WHY?? wtf is SO special about a new friggin year? i just don’t fucking understand i guess.

/rant.

well its official. i’m getting sick. i’m burning up and sweaty but have full-body goosebumps. my stomach is really upset, but i can’t tell if it’s b/c of my coffee this morning or b/c i’m getting sick. there goes my visions of being completely healthy and taking care of HP all weekend. :(

today is friday and thank gawd for that. i can’t believe its been a three day work week and i’m so exhausted and fed up. i want nothing more than to sleep for 16 hours w/o being disturbed. not that that’s going to happen, but i can dream, can’t i? my plans for the weekend? stop at michael’s to get a set of size 7 knitting needles and start making as many 7″x9″ squares i can for the Warm Up America foundation. MB and i are going to send in as many as we can make, but she’s already 4 up on my zero. lol i’ll be lucky if i can finish one this weekend, but even if i can manage that, i’ll be happy. i’m relatively new to knitting, so this should occupy me for most of the weekend.

we’re so incredibly broke. i mean broke broke, not just financially tight but more like a financial stand-still. spent my last dime last night on dinner. HP is horribly sick, so i’m secretly hoping he’ll be happy spending most of the weekend lounging around in bed with me. i’m completely unmotivated and would love to spend the next two free days mostly in bed. i need some serious HP QT.

blah, back to work.. break was over 4 mins ago.

i feel strange today. all motivation is completely lost. even the $30 michael’s giftcard i got for xmas isn’t tempting me. (there’s a michael’s 6 blocks from here and i could easily go on a shopping spree on lunch break.) idk what’s wrong, i’m just… blah. i got a new journal for xmas and i haven’t even written in it yet. i’ve picked it up three times now with a pen in hand and … nothing. i’m  just not insipired. i don’t want to fill it with sadness and anger and frustration, it’s simply too pretty to do so. i’m tired of documenting only the bad things in my life. i go back and read old journals and they’re filled to the brim with ‘woe is me’ passages and rants about this or that. i want this journal to capture the beautiful things in my life. i’m just not inspired to write about them right now.

i feel like all i ever do is work. and yet i still don’t have enough money to survive. we’re barely hanging on right now, things are incredibly tight. so much so that i don’t have breakfast or lunch today and i have no idea what we can come up with for dinner. last night we ate the last of the hashbrowns and ham… we’re down to 2 cans of cream of mushroom soup. lol i officially know poverty, that’s for sure.

i told HP last night that i’m determined to make it through this. and i wasn’t just saying that, i really mean it. i am convinced that we will prevail through these hard times and see better days. i know we will, we just have to remember that we have each other and that’s all that matters. if only our love could pay the bills, b/c we’d be set.. lol

said just now by one of the boys here at work: “fabric depot? is that like a home depot only without the home and add fabric?” ….uh, yeah…lol

total dollar amount of xmas money = zero.
number of things on wish list = eight.
number of things on wish list actually received for xmas = zero.
/sigh.