Monthly Archives: November 2007

Driving home today, I made a left off the freeway exit instead of the right that I take to get home. I don’t know what came over me. Less than 5 minutes later, I was walking up to someone’s house. I haven’t talked to this person in 4 months, we didn’t end our friendship lightly. I knocked, she answered, we talked, we’re good. It was that surprisingly easy, actually. I didn’t know what I was walking into, but all in all, it was pretty painless. We both said what we needed to say, we both apologized where we needed to and we agreed to move on. Up until the moment I turned left, I had no idea I was going to see her ever again. I’m glad I went.

<3

My Etsy store is officially on holiday leave. lol I’ve taken down all my items for the month of December. I just don’t have the time or patience to fill orders and ship them this month. Wayyy too hectic. Besides, I need to get started on my Christmas gifts!! I’m 50% finished with HP’s gift (he’s clueless!) and I’m completley ready to wrap my Mom’s. I need to pick up some ribbon somewhere. I still have no idea what I’m doing for the rest of my christmas gift list…. we’ll see. I can’t send my sister any more jewelry, she’s already got 2 pairs of earrings, a necklace and a bracelet from me in the past 6 months.

I have the beginnings of a horrible headache. Today is Friday, so that’s no bueno. Not that my night has anything planned so far… but still. No one likes a headache on a Friday night. *le’sigh*

I stopped drinking milk almost a month ago now and believe it or not, it seems to have fixed my stomach issues. For 4 or 5 months straight, I was severely nauseous every single day, especially in the mornings and the middle of the night. As a last-ditch effort to find the cause of the upset, I kicked millk to the curb in exchange for soy. It’s been almost 4 weeks with (I’m happy to say) minimal problems. I haven’t had real milk for so long that I’m completely used to the odd taste of soy.

Two nights ago, I completely forgot about the new soy rule and automatically poured myself a full glass of milk to go with the chocolate chip cookies I’d made. Two-thirds of the way through the milk, I realized what I’d done. HP happily finished the rest for me. lol Unfortunately, the next morning I woke up with the worst stomachache. For whatever reason, I just can’t handle milk anymore. I’ve pretty much accepted the fact that my entire digestive system hates me. Crohn’s sucks monkey butt. lol

I’m about to lose it with my living situation. *sigh* There’s nothing worse than happily driving home from work - looking forward to enjoying the minimal time I’m not slaving for The Man - and realizing when I get home that it’s not any better than work. Ugh. At least I’m getting paid while I’m at work. At home, I’m not getting paid and I’m even more miserable unless I’m hiding upstairs in our room away from Things 1, 2 and 3. I’m so sick of living with those people. I can’t wait to say “See ya!” and never have to deal with them again. I can’t wait til HP and I see them at a party someday and go “Hey, there’s Thing #2 - haven’t seen him in months.” Ahhh that would be SUCH a wonderful thing.

I can’t wait til I can sit on my own couch in front of HP’s ginormous tv without anxiety. I can’t wait until I can spend more than 20 minutes in my own living room without having to see our fucking roommates. I can’t wait to live by ourselves. If only we were millionaires and could afford to move out….. *heavy sigh* It sucks, I’ve gotten to where I positively seethe hatred for the female we live with. Just hearing her makes me see red. Not that I mean the other two aren’t equally horrid to live with.

But enough about that. This is the first lunch hour I’ve spent at work in ages and ages. HP has errands to run today and isn’t home to have lunch on the table for me. LOL But alas, my time is spent. I must get back to the grind. ^_^

Post Secret. Ever heard of it? I imagine that would be extremely therapeutic. I’d like to send one in… if I could find the privacy to really make it personal.

Guess what. I’m still sick. *coughcoughhackcough* Day 6 of the Cold From Hell. [insert horror music here] I did manage to make it to work. Go me. <3

Wow. It’s been an eventful past 2 weeks, to say the least. The Alaska trip went well, all in all. That was definitely the most emotionally exhausting 11 days I’ve ever spent. A never-ending rollercoaster of extreme highs and lows, one after the other. I left Alaska for all of those reasons… and when I returned, I had to face each and every one of them straight in the face - all for the sake of sweet Derek’s funeral.

My proudest and most painful of all? ‘The Inevitable Talk’ with my parents. Never in my life have I stared my parents down and refused to back down. Never in my life have I walked away while still holding my ground. Never in my life have I stood up to my family and not caved under their conservative ways. No, this time I held my ground. This time I said exactly how I feel - stared them straight in the eyes and told them I am not ashamed. I am not ashamed of who I am, I am not ashamed of what I do and don’t believe - I am not ashamed of being me.

You know what? What goes around comes around. That’s all I have to say.

Whew, it’s been a loooooong past couple days. Today was nice. Woke up around 8:30 AK time…after a horrible night of tossing and turning, nightmares, and various trips to the bathroom thinking I was going to be sick. idk what my problem is, my stomach is just upset all the time. Probably from nerves and the overdose of emotions I’m going through.

This morning was slow going. Spent a few hours just relaxing and visiting. Finally got in gear to shower and get ready. Spent a few hours with the brother and sister, that was so nice. Even got some brother-only time in. He’s such a wonderful person, I’m proud to know him. He’s by far the most level-headed 14 year old I’ve ever met.

Tried to do dinner with my sister but the ‘rents said no. Honestly, i didn’t even plan for it really, b/c i knew they’d say no. *sigh* i wish they’d realize it’s okay to let her get close to me. i love her so much, i want her to know that.

I spent the past 5 or 6 hours with a very good friend. We went on a shoe-buying mission b/c I was in boots that were killing my feet… too bad all the stores closed at 6 b/c its a sunday. Stupid country life. lol Ended up at the local pool hall… 4 or 5 games later (i won 2 games!! lol), we were starving. Ate at Food Factory in Fbks (w00t!) and then took a 3 hour drive all over, just to drive. He’s got a Focus, it has some spunk. :P We talked cars for at least 2 hours. It was so awesome, I could totally keep up (and contribute to!!) the conversation and when he talked about things i didn’t know about, he explained. :) I <3 tuner cars. it makes me feel great to be able to hold my own when the boys talk shop. i love it.

ok i’m about to fall over i’m so tired. i’m going to check my email and then hit the hay.

oh yeah - and have i mentioned how much i miss my HP???? :’(

I just got word that my friend has airline miles to help me get to AK for Derek’s funeral. I’m leaving ASAP.

The bad news has been undeniably confirmed. The war in Iraq has officially effected me.

RIP Derek Stenroos. Today I weep for you.